Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

Captain Jesus

“YARRR! Avast ye maties, thar be our messiah!”

~ Any pirate on Captain Jesus

For the other captain who has messianic qualities, see Captain Jack Sparrow.

Jesus de Christo (pronounced Jesse Enfield), or, as his crew acknowledges him, Captain Jesus, is the leader of the pirate vessel, The Ark and son of famed science man Chuck Norris. Many pirates hail him as the High Seas Messiah, although most just go 'arr!' and get back to whatever they were doing before he happened to walk up to them.

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Highlighted Image

The Messiah, goes to Heaven for three days, to let his Father borrow His glue gun.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:Catholic Church's Version of Harry Potter

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:God sues for copyright infringement

• UnNews:Policeman sues force because 'he needed a bloody good shave'

• UnNews:Aliens demand apology from Church

• UnNews:Persistent Protestants protest punishment

• UnNews:Conservapedia demands proof for the existence of science

• UnNews:Dinesh D'souza on the real problem with Newtonism

• UnNews:In space, no one can hear the call to prayerl

• UnNews:McDonald's Should Be Boycotted

• UnNews:Satanic front group convenes in Vienna

• UnNews:Westboro Baptist Church protests Uncyclopedia

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Quote of the Week

“Dickness is a side effect of being human.”

~ Roshi Rev. Zim_ulator on the human condition.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Abu Hamza - Bad Religion - Cell division - Devilution - Eris Discordia - Father Christmas - God Hates Fags - Hardline - Ignatius of Loyola - Judas Eukaryote - Karma - Landover Baptist Church - Mount of Venus - Necrophilia - Praise The Lord - Qu'ran - Religious relic trading - Shroud of Napkin - The Church of Tyra - Unintelligent Design - Voidism - Wheel of Deities - XBible 360 - Yad -

Zombie Jesus

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Allah's law - Bill Bennett - Cod - Deity Election - Eastern Unorthodox - Fuck it - God's masturbation - Heresy - It's hard out here for a pimp - Jesus 2.0 - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Male Reproductive System: Attorney At Law - Neo-Confusionism - Original sin - Protestantism - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Republican Jesus - Shinto - Trinity - Un-religion - Veggiestrology - Whitism -

Zucchini